TV Listings

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UK TV Listings on the 2nd of August 2004
for the Carlton region

free books by Jane Austen, H.G. Wells and the Brontes
 
Click one of the links below for your TV listings if you are not in the Carlton ITV region
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  Monday morning
BBC 1
6.00am Breakfast
Round-up of national and international news with Natasha Kaplinsky and Dermot Murnaghan, plus the latest from the money markets.
followed by The National Lottery Daily Play
9.15am Houses Behaving Badly
Stephanie Meadows and the team visit Thundersley in Essex to tackle a home cluttered with oriental artefacts.
10.00am Homes Under the Hammer
Lucy Alexander and Martin Roberts offer their opinions on three properties about to go up for auction. They visit a two-bedroom maisonette in north London, a bijou flat in the south of the city and an old dairy in Ashbourne in the Peak District — but will buyers see them as bargains to be snapped up?
followed by BBC News; Weather
11.00am Garden Invaders
Joe Swift designs a striking garden based around squares and rectangles, while Charlie Dimmock creates a formal pond edged with railway sleepers.
11.30am Bargain Hunt
Tim Wonnacott visits Exeter to present the first of five shows with teams challenged to scour an antiques fair and pick up bargains to sell at auction. Which items will be the most valuable and which will fail to make a profit?
BBC 2
6.00am CBeebies
Tikkabilla Justin, Veejay and Tamba learn about opposites, houses and farms 6.30am Bob the Builder Bob celebrates his birthday 6.45am Rubbadubbers Terence looks for a new tie.
7.00am CBBC
The Lampies Boris the Bat visits the Lamppost and helps Charge rescue the other Lampies from the Roons 7.15am ChuckleVision The brothers take part in a cross-country race 7.30am Arthur Sue Ellen imagines her friends are geese 7.55am Newsround Current affairs reports 8.00am Bamzooki Teams from Binfield and Southgate compete 8.15am UBOS Cassy saves the day 8.35am Even Stevens Ren goes birdwatching 9.00am Jackie Chan Adventures Section 13 suffers a break-in 9.25am SMart Backgrounds and foregrounds 9.50am Snailsbury Tales A weekly disco is suggested.
10.00am CBeebies
Fimbles Florrie thinks the chime bars she has found are saying something to her — but what is it? 10.20am Come Outside Auntie Mabel explores water CBeebies Birthdays 10.40am Tweenies Max goes to a carnival.
11.00am Film: Anne of Green Gables (1934, U) (on DVD)
Twenties child star Dawn O'Day changed her name to Anne Shirley as a constant reminder of the role which made her famous. She plays the freckle-faced girl who is adopted by middle-aged brother and sister Matthew and Marilla Cuthbert to help them run their farm in this enchanting classic tale. Tom Brown, OP Heggie and Helen Westley co-star.
ITV 1
6.00am GMTV
 
6.00am GMTV Newshour
Round-up of the day's headlines, with Richard Gaisford and Penny Smith.
9.25am Trisha
Guests relate their stories in front of a studio audience, as Trisha Goddard presides.
10.25am Sixty Minute Makeover
Claire Sweeney and the team head for Milton Keynes, where they liven up a woman's lounge with a nightclub theme, and add a touch of magic to her daughter's room with fairy decorations.
11.25am ITV News Headlines
Including Local News and ITV Weather.
11.30am The Test
A woman struggling to say a final farewell to her husband, who died three years ago, is forced to admit she must let go of the past. The small home she shares with her sister is full of possessions loaded with sentimental value — and once that's dealt with, there's an equally cramped house in Ulster to clear out. Can lifestyle guru Sue Kay help her clear out the clutter and start afresh?
Channel 4
5.50am Angela Anaconda (on DVD)
Angela's grandmother pays an unexpected visit and the youngster struggles to keep up with the latest toy craze.
6.10am The Hoobs
Groove's tortoise disappears, leaving his shell behind — where has he gone?
6.35am The Hoobs
Groove has an attack of the sneezes and makes everyone jump — what could be the reason?
7.00am T4: Spider-Man
Action with the wall-crawling, web-slinging hero.
7.25am T4: Friends
The gang celebrate Rachel's 30th birthday and reminisce about their own, including Monica's attempt to hide her intoxication from her parents, and Ross's embarrassing crisis which resulted in the purchase of a red sports car. Comedy, starring Jennifer Aniston and David Schwimmer.
8.00am T4: Big Brother
Highlights of Saturday's action from the Big Brother house, as the team of psychologists discuss the group's recent behaviour. In probably the most sensational series of the reality show, there has been more tension, conflict and rebellion among the housemates than ever before. How are they coping as they enter week 10?
9.00am T4: As If
Nicki returns with two men in tow — but are Max and Toby fitting replacements for Rob, or has she unfinished business to face? Drama, starring Paul Chequer, Ben Waters and Jemima Rooper.
9.30am T4: Friends
Phoebe convinces herself she's a walking jinx who keeps causing people to die mysteriously. Monica hides the fact that Ben has been injured, while Chandler and Janice make a tough decision about their relationship.
10.00am Darren Gough's Cricket Academy
The popular Yorkshire bowler offers tips on the essentials of the game.
10.25am Ed
The adventures of a lawyer who runs a small-town bowling alley in between dispensing legal advice to his friends. American comedy, starring Thomas Cavanagh.
11.15am Judging Amy
An attorney begins a new career as a judge. Legal drama, starring Amy Brenneman and Tyne Daly.
Channel 5
6.00am Sunrise
Round-up of national and international news, with Greg Milam and Emma Crosby.
6.30am Milkshake!
A House That's Just Like Yours Children's fun with the puppet mice 6.55am The Save-Ums! Baby Dino's nappy needs changing 7.10am The Save-Ums! Wonder Winston needs help 7.25am Oswald The little octopus plants a banana seed 7.35am Make Way for Noddy A little ball learns to bounce 7.55am Bear in the Big Blue House The gang's favourite autumn things 8.25am Hi-5 Nathan gets into training 9.00am Babar Celeste stars in a play 9.25am The Ice Cream Machine A movie director comes to town 9.40am Morris 2274 Time-travelling drama 9.55am Redwall An earthquake destroys Malkariss 10.25am RAD Extreme sports magazine.
11.00am Memory Bank
Rachel Pierman presents the quiz show in which both viewers and studio contestants play memory-based games in a bid to win cash prizes.
 
Monday afternoon  
BBC 1
12.30pm Car Booty
The team help Linda and Barry Davies from south London raise money by selling their clutter to buy a memorial for Linda's mother, who passed away recently.
1.00pm BBC News; Weather
 
1.30pm Regional News and Weather
 
1.40pm Neighbours
Toadie finally returns to Ramsay Street, but everyone is shocked to see just how frail he is. Despite his friends good wishes, all he wants is time alone with Sindi. Elsewhere, after her stormy night with Tom, Susan gets short shrift from Lyn about the dangers of falling for the priest, and Harold teaches Scott a lesson in patience.
2.05pm Cash in the Attic
Richard Stainton has a burning desire to drive a steam train, while his wife Dinah wants to go on a painting holiday in Spain. In order to fulfil both dreams, they decide to sell off some of their prized possessions, including Richard's vast collection of model trains. But will it raise the necessary £1,000?
2.35pm Father Dowling Mysteries
The crime-busting cleric investigates a woman's claims that her house is haunted by the ghost of her late father. Starring Tom Bosley and Tracy Nelson.
3.20pm BBC News; Regional News
 
3.25pm CBeebies
Tweenies Max spends the day at a steam railway.
3.45pm CBBC
Taz-Mania Taz gets a job at the Hotel Tazmania, hoping to earn enough cash to buy a motorcycle 4.05pm The Fairly Odd Parents Timmy wishes his parents had special powers 4.30pm Lizzie McGuire Lizzie bonds with her mother 4.55pm The Agents Finding dancers in Birmingham 5.25pm Newsround Current affairs reports.
5.35pm Neighbours
Toadie finally returns to Ramsay Street, but everyone is shocked to see just how frail he is. Despite his friends good wishes, all he wants is time alone with Sindi. Elsewhere, after her stormy night with Tom, Susan gets short shrift from Lyn about the dangers of falling for the priest, and Harold teaches Scott a lesson in patience.
BBC 2
12.15pm Trade Secrets
Handy hints from experts in their fields.
followed by Hall of Fame
12.30pm Wildlife on Two
David Attenborough introduces an insight into the lives of India's Hanuman langur monkeys as they fight, brawl and kidnap each other's offspring. Filmed in the ancient city of Jodhpur in Rajasthan, this glimpse into primate behaviour shows how the youngest members of the colony are the most at risk.
1.00pm Film: Kitty Foyle (1940, PG)
A soon-to-be-married shop girl is swept off her feet by the return of an old flame — which of the men will win her heart? Romantic drama, starring Ginger Rogers in an Oscar-winning performance, with Dennis Morgan and James Craig as the unlikely duo battling for her affections. Eduardo Ciannelli and Ernest Cossart co-star.
2.45pm Through the Keyhole
David Frost challenges celebrity panellists Jennie Bond, Shauna Lowry and Mark Moraghan to identify the homes of the rich and famous, based on clues provided by Catherine Gee.
3.15pm Escape to the Country
Nick Page sets out to find Birmingham newlyweds the perfect family home in rural Shropshire, but they have very different tastes. One likes modern, the other is a fan of the traditional — can he find an ideal retreat?
4.15pm Ready Steady Cook
Ainsley Harriott hosts the culinary challenge, as Nick Nairn and James Martin prepare meals against the clock.
5.00pm Flog It!
Antiques dealer Paul Martin heads for Airport House in Croydon to meet people eager to make a profit selling their treasures at auction. Experts are on hand with advice, but will their valuations prove correct when the items go under the hammer?
ITV 1
12.00pm Antiques Auction
Lynda Bellingham lifts the lid on the world of antiques, revealing how to appraise items, spot bargains and bid against the experts.
followed by London Today Headlines
12.30pm ITV Lunchtime News
Including Local News and ITV Weather.
1.00pm Loose Women
Celebrity interviews and topical debate from a female perspective.
2.00pm Quincy
The death of a patient alerts Quincy to a possible case of medical malpractice. Crime drama, starring Jack Klugman and Robert Ito.
3.00pm London Today and Weather
 
followed by City Survival Guide
3.15pm CITV
Ripley and Scuff Puppet fun about a group of friends who leave their secret valley and enter the world of human schoolchildren to learn more about their behaviour 3.35pm Kipper The pals have a race 3.45pm Potatoes and Dragons New series of cartoon capers 4.15pm Art Attack Neil Buchanan creates a magic spell book 4.40pm Brilliant Creatures New series. Fascinating animals around the world.
5.00pm Heartbeat
A shocking accusation of indecent assault leaves Maggie questioning her marriage to Neil, while he's furious she could ever think he'd do something like that. Elsewhere, Greengrass comes a cropper after organising a Civil War re-enactment, prompting unlikely hero Alf to step into the breach.
Channel 4
12.10pm Cheers (on DVD)
American bar-room comedy, starring Ted Danson.
12.40pm Frasier (on DVD)
Comedy about an American psychiatrist, starring Kelsey Grammer and David Hyde Pierce.
1.05pm Frasier (on DVD)
Comedy about an American psychiatrist, starring Kelsey Grammer and David Hyde Pierce.
1.35pm Film: The Maggie (1953, U)
Biting Ealing comedy, starring Paul Douglas as a rich American businessman who sets out across Scotland in hot pursuit of a dilapidated boat carrying his valuable furniture from Glasgow to the Scottish islands. With Alex Mackenzie, James Copeland and Tommy Kearins.
3.15pm Countdown
Richard Whiteley and Carol Vorderman present the words-and-numbers game.
4.00pm Home from Home
Series investigating the growing phenomenon of house-swapping.
4.30pm A Place in the Sun
A property expert offers advice to British householders aiming to buy a second home abroad.
5.00pm The Property Chain
Kirstie Allsopp traces the links in a different housing chain each week, following the fortunes of buyers and vendors as they negotiate the pitfalls of the housing market.
Channel 5
12.00pm five news at noon
Global headline round-up, with Rob Butler.
12.30pm Home and Away
A new witness comes forward with evidence that could get Dani out of jail, while a desperate Josh repossesses the gym equipment — but is it really his to take? Kirsty is increasingly embarrassed by Kane, and an incident at the school only causes further ructions in their already strained relationship.
followed by five news update
1.00pm Family Affairs
Sarah abandons Charlie in the middle of nowhere, leaving him lost and alone. Sean and Tanya alert the police, but can they find him before he comes to harm? Gary takes Chloe away on holiday, leaving Chrissy facing a bleak future, and the early exit polls in the mayoral election reveal some surprising results.
1.35pm BrainTeaser
Daily word games and puzzles quiz in which four contestants compete for a possible £3,000 prize money, while viewers get the chance to scoop £750 for correctly answering one of the four challenges set during the show. Craig Stevens presents.
2.35pm Charlie's Angels (on DVD)
The girls pose as prostitutes to track down the thug who beat up a dance school owner's daughter.
3.35pm Film: Evil Roy Slade (1972, PG)
An orphaned boy grows up to become a feared outlaw, and even the love of a good woman and the danger of a bounty on his head fail to curb his no-good antics. Excellent spoof Western loaded with the kind of classy sight gags and sharp one-liners that made Blazing Saddles such a hit a couple of years later. John Astin, Pamela Austin, Mickey Rooney and Dick Shawn star.
5.30pm five news
The day's headlines from around the world, presented by Kirsty Young.
 
  Monday evening
BBC 1
6.00pm BBC News
 
6.30pm Regional News Programmes
 
7.00pm Cash in the Attic
A compulsive hoarder who has recently recovered from breast cancer decides to part with her collection of antiques to fund a much-needed spa holiday with her husband. The team set about sifting through the trinkets in search of items of value, but will they find enough for that elusive dream break?
7.30pm Real Story
Fiona Bruce reports on the impact the National Lottery has made on Britain in the 10 years since its launch, talking to winners about whether their lives have changed for the better.
8.00pm EastEnders
Den refuses to make amends with Chrissie and leaves Ian in no doubt about his chances with Kate. Paul makes a good impression with social services by volunteering to supervise a children's basketball team, Pauline muscles in on Martin and Sonia's cosy night in, and Kat sets out to put a smile on Zoe's face, but her plans go horribly wrong.
8.30pm Ground Force America
Charlie Dimmock and Tommy Walsh visit a garden on a steep precipice in Santa Barbara. The owners are fascinated by England's ancient buildings, so the team endeavour to build them a Gothic folly, with a dry stream running down the slope.
9.00pm Waking the Dead
Part two. Sam Jacobs discovers he was the intended victim, and demands answers from Mark Andrews. Meanwhile, the cold case squad realise the stolen murder weapon is the key to uncovering the killer, only to find the gun has been used in yet another fatal shooting.
10.00pm BBC News at Ten O'Clock
 
10.30pm Regional News and Weather
 
10.35pm Comedy Connections
Julia Sawalha narrates a look back at the creation of The Young Ones, which appeared to gleefully tear up the sitcom rulebook and propelled a new generation of comedy talent to the forefront. But despite the show's anarchic and frequently surreal nature, the writers were more influenced by the established sitcom format than they seemed, and gradually the radical newcomers would become the new mainstream. With contributions from writer Ben Elton and stars Rik Mayall, Nigel Planer and Adrian Edmondson.
11.05pm Film: Tin Cup (1996, 15) (on DVD)
Kevin Costner stars as a burnt-out golf pro who attempts to win the heart of the woman he loves by defeating her big-headed boyfriend at the US Open. Warm and fuzzy comedy drama, with Rene Russo, Don Johnson, Cheech Marin and Linda Hart.
followed by Weatherview
BBC 2
6.00pm The Weakest Link
Anne Robinson hosts the general knowledge quiz in which contestants answer questions as a team, eliminating the poorest players as they go.
6.45pm The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Carlton adopts a horse during a day at the races, while Ashley's run of good luck continues with an offer of a place at New York Drama School and a starring role in a TV commercial.
7.10pm Malcolm in the Middle
Malcolm dates a girl whose father dislikes him, while Francis becomes chief mediator in a dispute between Otto and his cowboy neighbours, and Dewey discovers he is an evil twin. Starring Frankie Muniz and Jane Kaczmarek.
7.30pm Terry Jones' Medieval Lives
The former Python explodes common stereotypes about women in the Middle Ages, revealing that the image of the passive, vulnerable damsel was largely a creation of the Victorian era. The reality was considerably more formidable — medieval women ran businesses, led armies into battle and were even known to abduct the lovers of their choice.
8.00pm Mastermind
John Humphrys challenges four more contestants to prove their intellectual mettle, posing questions on the life and works of Titian, Alan Partridge, Boswell and Johnson's tours of the Hebrides and the history of the football World Cup.
8.30pm University Challenge: The Professionals
Jeremy Paxman oversees the battle of wits between a team from the Eden Project and the fossil experts of the Palaeontological Association.
9.00pm Coupling (on DVD)
Oliver seems to be making progress in his efforts to charm his fellow loser-in-love Jane, but his living room is struggling in the battle with magazine nudity, which could jeopardise his chances. Comedy, starring Gina Bellman and Richard Mylan.
9.30pm Dead Ringers (on DVD)
Impersonators Jon Culshaw, Jan Ravens, Phil Cornwell, Kevin Connelly and Mark Perry send up a host of celebrities.
10.00pm The Keith Barret Show
The hapless host chats to weather presenter Sian Lloyd and MP Lembit Opik about their relationship and forthcoming wedding, before undertaking a journey into the unknown by visiting a busy bar hosting 21 hen parties at once.
10.30pm Newsnight
Kirsty Wark presents a comprehensive round-up of the day's events.
11.20pm Film: The Son's Room (2001, 15)
Premiere. Almost unbearably emotional drama looking at how the death of a child affects a family, as the various members attempt to hide their grief and guilt — but are forced to face up to their loss when an old flame of their son pays a surprise visit. Nanni Moretti's film, in which he also appears, deservedly scooped the 2001 Palme D'Or at the Cannes Film Festival. Powerful supporting performances come courtesy of Laura Morante, Jasmine Trinca and Giuseppe Sanfelice. Shown as part of BBC Four on BBC Two.
ITV 1
6.00pm London Tonight and Weather
 
6.30pm ITV Evening News
 
7.00pm Emmerdale
Andy's combine harvester breaks down, compounding his financial problems and leaving him staring ruin in the face. Terry asks Bob to talk Dawn out of leaving the village with baby TJ, while Cain treats Daz to a lesson in the finer points of handling Shadrach.
7.30pm Coronation Street
Cilla hatches an ingenious plan to win back Les, which involves turning up behind the wheel of a flash sports car, spinning an improbable yarn about inheriting a fortune and whisking him off on a jaunt. Unfortunately for her, Janice witnesses the whole charade and sets off in hot pursuit. Mike watches Ciaran and Penny like a hawk, determined to catch them together, while Harry decides he's fed up with being an object of ridicule and quits his job at the factory.
8.00pm Tonight with Trevor McDonald
Update on the two overweight families taken in hand earlier in the year by Olympic gold medallist Daley Thompson. Among the two thirds of Britons classified as obese, the volunteers have submitted to an intense regimen of exercise, healthy eating and no-holds-barred re-education in a bid to achieve new levels of fitness and well-being. Six months down the line, have they been transformed?
8.30pm Coronation Street
Cilla decides the time has come to make her move on Les. Ignoring her hapless passenger's pleas to be taken home, she pulls over into a lay-by, sheds an artful tear, flashes her cleavage and pounces — just as Janice arrives on the scene. Penny shuts her ears to Mike's ranting about Ciaran, blissfully unaware that Tracy is eyeing him up herself, while over at the Rovers, a melancholy Harry drowns his sorrows and contemplates his future.
9.00pm Bad Girls (on DVD)
The hard-hitting prison drama returns for the final four episodes of the current series, and things are certainly hotting up behind bars. After a night of passion with Kris, Natalie can't help wondering why her lover's ardour has been tempered in the cold light of day, but it's not long before she realises that it has something to do with the triumphant return of warden Selena Geeson from Canada — and the conniving con soon hits on the truth about their relationship. Wing Governor Frances Myers is forced to drop the poisoning case due to lack of evidence, while Julie S faces the moment of truth when she visits the doctor and Neil Grayling is on tenterhooks as the date of his sexual misconduct hearing draws closer — will Jim's allegations spell the end of his career?
10.00pm Young Doctors
While Lizzy struggles to get her coursework completed on time, Camilla gets to the hub of the action when she volunteers to ride along with the Paramedic Rapid Response Unit — and she's soon dealing with her first emergency. Barney has a quieter time as he spends a day with a GP, but taking a blood sample proves problematic, and the students let their hair down to celebrate the halfway point of the year with a night on the town.
10.30pm ITV News
Including Local News and ITV Weather.
11.00pm Footballers' Wives (on DVD)
As Tanya's drug habit gets increasingly out of hand, Jason tells her their marriage is over, while relations are also strained for Donna, who throws wayward husband Ian out on his ear and resolves to fight for custody of Daniel alone. Still not back to her normal self following the attack, newlywed Chardonnay takes a pair of scissors to her long tresses — much to Kyle's concern. Glossy drama, starring Gary Lucy and Zoe Lucker.
Channel 4
6.00pm Big Brother's Little Brother
Dermot O'Leary presents the daily programme from the compound, with interviews and competitions.
6.30pm Hollyoaks
Nick makes up his mind to leave Hollyoaks, but is still unsure whether he should pursue his dream of travelling the world, or help his family in their moment of greatest need. His father tries to persuade him to go home, despite their differences, but is that really what he wants to do? Ali is attracted to a new arrival at work, especially after seeing the way she handles Josh and his friends, while Dannii inadvertently reveals to Joe why Mandy disappeared — sending him on a misguided mission to sort Tony out.
7.00pm Channel 4 News
Including sport and weather.
7.55pm my city: edinburgh
First in a series of four short films about Edinburgh, in which people born and brought up in the city offer their perspectives on the Scottish capital, starting with Garbage lead singer Shirley Manson.
8.00pm Lost Buildings of Britain
Simon Thurley explores the ruins of Nottingham Castle, discovering how this formidable fortress was designed to withstand attack from any direction — as Richard the Lionheart learned to his cost, when he was forced to retake the castle on his return from the Crusades. Simon enlists the aid of a team of experts in medieval warfare to test the strategic capabilities of the fortifications by recreating the weapons of the time and attempting to storm the walls.
9.00pm Pagans
Anthropologist Richard Rudgley examines how modern concepts of masculinity have been influenced by pagan culture, comparing the idolisation of sporting heroes and the behaviour of modern political leaders with practices in ancient society. He also questions whether the classic image of the hard-drinking, brawling and pillaging warrior king had any basis in reality, revealing how rulers had to live by their wits rather than their brawn, and uncovering tales of ancient male bonding, psychological warfare, and career tips for would-be Vikings.
10.00pm Big Brother
Highlights of Sunday's action as the remaining housemates look forward to Friday's grand finale.
10.50pm The Services
Comedy following a day in the life of a motorway service station, with Peter Kay playing every role. Characters include local DJ Paul LeRoy, embittered ex-RAC man Alan McLaherty, coach driver Craig and part-time customer care assistant and drama student Matthew.
11.25pm The Art Show
Profile of cult author Niall Griffiths, whose gritty novels set in Wales' rural backwaters have earned comparisons with Irvine Welsh. The writer discusses his years travelling with the crusty rave scene, why he has turned his back on city life and the literary establishment, and the forthcoming film and TV adaptations of his books Stump and Grits.
11.55pm Big Brother's Efourum
Fans of the series air their views on the latest developments in the house — the relationships, the conflicts, the voting and the evictions. A panel of experts, including the housemates' friends and families, journalists, celebrities and producers of the series, add their opinions and debate the most recent events. Russell Brand presents.
Channel 5
6.00pm Home and Away
Scott reaches boiling point and lashes out at Kane, while Irene feels compelled to take in a new boarder — much to Rhys's dismay. Jesse and Hayley struggle to cope without gym equipment, a mystery thief steals money from the school and there's news of the truck driver whose evidence could turn Dani's case around.
6.30pm Family Affairs
Sean and Tanya are horrified when Sarah returns to Charnham without Charlie, and rush off in search of him. Geri struggles to find time for her doctor's appointments and modelling commitments, and realises she may not be able to keep her condition a secret for much longer, while a guilt-stricken Eileen decides to help Sam arrange Mike's funeral.
7.00pm five news
The day's headlines from around the world, presented by Kirsty Young.
7.30pm The Gadget Show
Suzi Perry and Jon Bentley put supposedly hard-wearing gadgets to the test by seeing how much punishment they can withstand before breaking, including firing guns at computers, playing hockey with watches, putting a radio in a dishwasher and dialling a mobile phone that's been sucked inside a vacuum cleaner. Plus, Aleks Krotoski reports on the trend for customised computers, Adrian Simpson's dad attempts to programme TV hard disks and Tom Dunmore examines timepieces.
followed by five news update
8.00pm Ultimate Stunt Pilots
An in-depth look at life with Britain's world-famous airborne display team the Red Arrows, exploring the tough training regime new recruits undergo and revealing just how dangerous their death-defying aerobatics actually are. There's also a chance to see some of the most impressive and breathtaking stunts, including archive footage of early pilots who pushed themselves — and their aircraft — to the limit.
followed by five news at 9
9.00pm Film: The Assassin (1993, 18) (on DVD)
Bridget Fonda is clearly uncomfortable in the leading role of this thriller, starring as a homicidal drug addict sentenced to death, then reprieved on condition that she work for the US government as a professional killer. Soulless American remake of influential French offering Nikita, with Gabriel Byrne, Harvey Keitel and Anne Bancroft.
followed by five news late
11.10pm The Making of The Lovers' Guide
As a new Lovers' Guide hits the shelves next week, this documentary lifts the lid on how the latest video in the hugely successful series was put together. Entitled What Women Really Want, it aims to give men a few practical pointers on how to satisfy their partners — in a responsible and dignified manner, of course.
 
Monday night / Tuesday morning  
BBC 1
1.15am Sign Zone: The Blue Planet
David Attenborough explores marine life at the poles, where temperatures frequently fall to a numbing minus 50 Celsius, and even when the sun does reappear, its weak rays take a long time to melt the ice. He describes how wildlife including seals, whales, polar bears and penguins overcome the elements to survive through long, bleak, frozen winters.
2.05am Sign Zone: Pushed to the Limit: Britain's Toughest Family
Chris Ryan tests the composure, communication and courage of the four remaining families by challenging the teenagers to lead their families through a building in complete darkness, and the final exercise sees the groups split into pairs, with two searching a smoke-filled house to rescue a casualty, while the others fight a blaze at the Fire Service College in Moreton-in-the-Marsh.
3.05am Sign Zone: Cleanse It Like Beckham
Reporter Rajan Datar asks whether the likes of David Beckham can continue to persuade an army of young football fans to use skincare products, as Gillette bring out their own range, joining Nivea in a market that has grown by 900 per cent in the past five years.
3.35am BBC News 24
3.35 Asia Today. Reports from across the continent. 3.45 World Business Report. The latest business news, with informed analysis. 4.00 BBC News. Regular bulletin. 4.30 Hardtalk. Tim Sebastian talks to people in the news. 5.00 The World Today. International reports. 5.30 World Business Report. The latest business news, with informed analysis.
BBC 2
1.00am Learning Zone
Languages and Travel — Talk Spanish Beginners' Spanish 2.30am Languages and Travel — Spain Inside Out Guide to Spanish culture 5.00am Jeremy Clarkson Meets the Neighbours Jeremy arrives in Spain.
ITV 1
12.05am Formula Woman
The search for a female motor sport champion continues, as the 16 remaining hopefuls race against each other at Cadwell Park. Natasha Firman and Margo Gardner have emerged as the two outstanding prospects, and both will hope to enhance their reputation with a good performance here. Presented by Vicki Butler-Henderson.
12.30am Planet Rock Profiles
A look at the career of French band Air, who shot to fame with their irresistible hit Sexy Boy, which was taken from the hugely popular 1998 album Moon Safari. Since then, they've continued to impress critics and fans alike with releases including the soundtrack to acclaimed movie The Virgin Suicides and more recent offering Talkie Walkie.
followed by ITV News Headlines
1.00am Building the Dream
The remaining couples struggle to keep the momentum going as the house takes shape, and are faced with difficult decisions regarding kitchen appliances and tiles.
1.20am Today with Des and Mel
Des O'Connor and Melanie Sykes host another mix of celebrity chat and music.
2.10am Moving Day
A young couple seek advice from presenters Sunita Shroff and Jim Bellieni as they move into their first home — a three-bedroom house.
2.35am Trisha
Guests relate their stories in front of a studio audience, as Trisha Goddard presides.
3.30am Entertainment Now
Review of the week's headline-making showbusiness events.
3.55am Tonight with Trevor McDonald
Update on the two overweight families taken in hand earlier in the year by Olympic gold medallist Daley Thompson. Among the two thirds of Britons classified as obese, the volunteers have submitted to an intense regimen of exercise, healthy eating and no-holds-barred re-education in a bid to achieve new levels of fitness and well-being. Six months down the line, have they been transformed?
followed by ITV News Headlines
4.20am ITV Nightscreen
Behind the scenes of ITV programmes and a guide to films being shown on the small screen, plus recipes and facts.
5.30am ITV Morning News
 
Channel 4
12.30am South Park (on DVD)
Near-the-knuckle adult animation set in the bizarre Colorado town of South Park, famed for its weird and inexplicable happenings. With the voices of Trey Parker and Matt Stone.
1.00am Big Brother Live
A chance to catch up with all the latest goings-on with uninterrupted coverage from the Big Brother house.
2.55am 4Play
Profile of singer-songwriter Tom Baxter, featuring performances of his hits.
3.10am Body Talk
Dr Peter Collett concludes his study of body language with a look at sexual attraction, examining the conscious and unconscious actions that go into flirting, and studying Charles and Diana's wedding and Bill Clinton's response to questions about Monica Lewinsky for revealing behavioural clues. Celebrity couples are also put under the microscope and viewers have the chance to uncover the truth about their own relationships.
4.15am Erotic Tales
A frustrated woman seeks mystical aid to reawaken her husband's dwindling libido, with unexpected results.
4.45am Cinema Extreme
Against the backdrop of the countryside, a young couple try to understand and express their feelings for each other.
5.00am Bugworld
A microscopic look at the fascinating lives of insects.
Channel 5
12.10am Lexx (on DVD)
The crew visit Transylvania in search of an unknown enemy, where they encounter the sinister Count Dracul. Lionel Jeffries guest stars.
1.00am US PGA Golf
The Buick Classic. Action from the Westchester Country Club in New York, featuring an array of talent from across the globe. Jonathan Kaye is the defending champion after winning last year's event on the first play-off hole, and the American will look to his success of 12 months ago and his win at the FBR Open in January for the inspiration he needs to retain his crown.
1.50am V8 Supercars
Highlights from the seventh round of the antipodean touring car season at the Winton Motor Raceway in Benalia.
2.40am NASCAR
The Goulds Pumps/ITT Industries Salute to the Troops 250. Action from the 21st round of the Busch Series Championship at the Pikes Peak International Raceway in Colorado Springs. Martin Truex Jnr is still leading the standings, but Kyle Busch has closed the gap on him in recent races and will look to do the same once again here.
3.30am AMA Motocross
Action from the latest round of the championship at Kenworthy's Motocross Park in Troy, Ohio, where competitors will be hoping to end Ricky Carmichael's dominance so far this season.
5.05am Motorsport Mundial
High-speed footage, news and views from around the world, focusing on everything from touring car races to single-seater events.
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