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TV Listings

  TV-Easy the fast one-click listings of what's on UK television
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UK TV Listings on the 24th of November 2009
for the London region
Select your ITV region

morning

BBC 1
06:00 Breakfast
Round-up of national and international news, plus the latest from the money markets.
09:15 Real Rescues
Emergency service phone operators try to help a son revive his collapsed father, and firefighters are called to free a baby accidentally locked in a car.
10:00 Homes under the Hammer
Developers Lucy Alexander and Martin Roberts explore a home in Liverpool, a property with spacious rooms and a large garden on Canvey Island, Essex, and an old house in Devon.
11:00 To Buy or Not to Buy
Studley Rani Price and Ed Hall help a music teacher find a perfect new property in Warwickshire.
11:30 Cash in the Attic
Miller Lorne Spicer and the team head to Essex, where they hope to help widow Mary Miller and her friend to raise funds for a special trip.
BBC 2
06:00 Me Too!
Be Seen Dr Juno asks Bobby to distribute leaflets on the buses about how to keep safe at night.
06:20 Big Cook Little Cook
Librarian Ben reads Small his favourite story, but the duo have trouble stopping their books falling off the shelf.
06:40 Mama Mirabelle's Home Movies
Why Zebras Can't Fly Karla learns which animals can fly after envying Perry the falcon's impressive flight skills.
07:00 Martha Speaks
TD and the Steak Tree Weaselgraft and Pablum trick TD into buying their `steak tree', and he is forced to think fast to avoid embarrassment when it buds to reveal flowers instead of meat.
07:15 Martha Speaks
Martha v Robot The talking dog becomes jealous when Alice's family gets a robotic pet called Dynamo that proves more capable than her.
07:25 Newsround
Current affairs reports aimed at a younger audience.
07:30 Ed and Oucho's Excellent Inventions
Falconator The duo build an all-terrain vehicle with a juicer and a custard cannon, which starts off well until Oucho crashes it.
08:00 Wait for It!
Children's game show, in which contestants must wait as long as possible to answer questions. Pete Firman hosts as, in this edition, friends from Swansea compete.
08:45 Pinky Dinky Doo
What's Bugging Tyler? Pinky and Tyler make friends with a purple polka-dot dragon.
09:00 Timmy Time
Timmy Can't Dance The friends try different forms of dancing, but cannot do it right.
09:10 Chuggington
Late Again Eddie Eddie has trouble getting into work on time because he lives so far away from Chuggington, so Hodge and the trainees try to find him a new home in the village.
09:25 Numberjacks
Seven Wonders The Agents seek Four's help in discovering why a boy's toys are mysteriously multiplying.
09:40 Tweenies
Polar Bears The pals watch a video about polar bears, and Jake learns a special dance.
10:00 Ethelbert the Tiger
Ethelbert and the Camel The mischievous tiger cub embarks on an Egyptian adventure.
10:05 Charlie and Lola
My Little Town The siblings play with a model town, but Charlie takes over the game.
10:20 Yoko! Jakamoko! Toto!
The Scary Monster The friends find a way of helping each other overcome their fears.
10:30 In the Night Garden
Upsy Daisy Kisses Everything Upsy Daisy loves her garden and kisses everything around her - which is when magical things start to happen.
11:00 BBC Primary Geography
Mexico - Changing Settlements Jayne Constantinis investigates how Mexico City is tackling its environmental problems and looks at the cultural mix in the growing city of Tijuana. (ages 7-11).
11:20 KS2 Science Clips
Light and Shadows The properties of light and shadows. (ages 7-9).
11:30 Telling Tales
English: Anansi and Turtle Anansi invites Turtle for a meal but eats all the yams herself, so Turtle hatches a plan for revenge. (ages 7-11).
11:35 Telling Tales
German: Anansi and Turtle Anansi invites Turtle for a meal but eats all the food herself, so Turtle hatches a plan for revenge. Translated into German. (ages 7-11).
11:40 Look and Read
Shadow Play: A Flicker at the Fairground Ben follows Hester and servant girl Katie to a fair. (ages 7-11).
ITV 1
06:00 GMTV
Penny Smith and John Stapleton present an hour of news and current affairs, before Strictly Come Dancing judge Alesha Dixon joins Kate Garraway and Ben Shephard to perform her latest single To Love Again. Torchwood star John Barrowman talks about his new DVD An Evening with John Barrowman, and Lorraine Kelly brings her usual mix of lifestyle, fashion and showbiz news. Plus, Lucie Cave selects her pick of tonight's TV in Talking Telly.
09:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show
The host invites his guests to air their differences over various family and relationship issues, and provides them with his own brand of no-nonsense advice.
10:30 This Morning
Holly Willoughby and Phillip Schofield discuss medical matters with Dr Chris Steele, Dave Berry reveals the latest I'm a Celebrity gossip and Ed Baines rustles up a lunchtime treat. Style guru Jason Gardiner also looks at fashion trends on the high street. Including at 11.25 News, Weather and Regional Weather.
Channel 4
06:05 Sali Mali
Have an Ice Day The pond freezes over, so Sali Mali invites her friends to go ice skating.
06:10 The Hoobs
Flower Power The friends try to think of souvenirs to bring back from a visit to Peep gardens.
06:40 Planet Cook
Suck It and See Fun and recipes with Captain Cook and Bouma the Yeti.
07:30 Everybody Loves Raymond
Brother Ray reluctantly agrees to take Robert out on the town - but makes the mistake of revealing that the evening was not his idea, causing relations between them to nosedive.
07:55 Frasier
Seat of Power A plumber shows up at the Cranes' home to repair their toilet - and turns out to be the bully who terrorised Niles at school. Comedy, starring Kelsey Grammer and David Hyde Pierce.
08:25 Frasier
Roz in the Doghouse Frasier protests that Bulldog is trying to seduce Roz when he offers to let her produce his sports show. Comedy, starring Kelsey Grammer.
09:00 Will & Grace
Terms of Employment Will receives an unexpected job offer from a lawyer who refused to pay Grace for her interior design services. Jack teams up with Karen to make a sexual harassment video. Comedy, guest starring Gregory Hines.
09:30 Friends
The One with the Proposal - Part Two Part two of two. Monica is left reeling by Richard's proposal, which puts the pressure on a nervous Chandler to bite the bullet and suggest she marry him instead. Comedy, guest starring Tom Selleck, with Courteney Cox and Matthew Perry.
10:00 Friends
The One with Monica's Thunder An ecstatic Monica plans an evening out to celebrate her engagement to Chandler but ends up accusing Rachel of trying to steal her thunder by kissing Ross. American comedy, starring Courteney Cox, Jennifer Aniston and David Schwimmer.
10:30 The Big Bang Theory
The Dumpling Paradox When Wolowitz hooks up with one of Penny's promiscuous friends, the guys fly into a state of panic and enlist their neighbour to make up the numbers in their game of Halo. Simon Helberg, Kaley Cuoco and Johnny Galecki star.
11:00 Ugly Betty
Crush'd A newly homeless Amanda moves in with Betty, who makes every effort to get the attention of her musician neighbour Jesse. Meanwhile, Cliff leaves Marc feeling taken aback by suggesting they live together. Comedy drama, guest starring Val Emmich and David Blue.
Five
06:00 Fireman Sam
Trouble and Squeak Norman has to look after the school mouse, but it escapes and gets chased up a chimney by Bella's cat.
06:10 Pocoyo
Lost in Space The lively youngster and his alien friend get lost in outer space. Narrated by Stephen Fry.
06:20 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky
A Tall Story Bill and Corky help Cedric the scientist find Stretchy the giraffe a new home.
06:30 Roobarb and Custard Too
When the Books Went Bye Bye Roobarb throws away all of his books and challenges Custard to a general knowledge quiz.
06:40 The Beeps
The Whale Nosey spots a whale in Crystal Cove, but finds it is pink and purple.
06:50 Animal Families
Michaela Strachan takes two youngsters to feed a family of hippos, before meeting elephants on their way to a watering hole.
07:00 Peppa Pig
The Eye Test Mummy Pig takes Peppa to the optician for an eye test.
07:05 Little Princess
I Want a Shop The youngster sets up her own shop.
07:20 The Mr Men Show
Sleep Mr Nosey and Mr Small team up to open a mattress warehouse.
07:30 Roary the Racing Car
Car Boot Sale Big Chris tries to get rid of his junk at Farmer Green's car-boot sale.
07:45 Noddy in Toyland
Come Back Lindy Whiz gets mad with Lindy for making a magical mess in his garage, and sends her away.
08:00 Fifi and the Flowertots
Spotty Pip Stingo pretends to be ill and demands lots of treats to make him feel better.
08:15 Peppa Pig
The Library Daddy Pig realises he has kept a library book for too long, so the family returns it and finds other books to read.
08:25 Peppa Pig
Piggy in the Middle George cannot catch a ball, so Mummy Pig suggests they play piggy in the middle to help him learn.
08:30 Thomas & Friends
Thomas and the Rainbow Thomas sees a rainbow while taking workmen to fix damaged telephone lines.
08:40 The WotWots
Plodda Lotty SpottyWot wants to zoom, and feels frustrated that his sister is not moving fast enough.
08:50 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures
Mountain Climbers The Sesame Street duo climb the Alps.
09:00 Little Lodgers
Derek's New Car Derek buys a new car, but the girls are less than impressed with it.
09:05 Family!
Aastha and Anusha get excited about visiting a traditional sari shop in Manchester.
09:15 The Wright Stuff
Comedian Andy Parsons joins Matthew Wright and panellists Stefan Gates and Carole Malone to discuss the issues of the day, with viewers calling in to offer their opinions.
10:45 Trisha Goddard
You Roll on the Floor Fighting with Your Fiance, Daughter - End Your Angry Rages and Get Married! A mother urges her daughter to stop fighting with her fiance and resolve their differences, meaning the pair must confront their trust problems head on.
11:45 Colin and Justin's How Not to Decorate
Designers Colin McAllister and Justin Ryan transform homes stuck in a time warp, while offering invaluable tips to owners.

afternoon

BBC 1
12:15 Bargain Hunt
North East 2 Two teams visit an antiques fair at Gateshead International Stadium under the watchful eyes of David Harper and Paul Laidlaw, before heading to auction in Leyburn, North Yorkshire. One of the experts saves the day for his side, but the other is left regretting his choice of bonus buy. Tim Wonnacott presents.
13:00 BBC News; Weather
 
13:30 Regional News and Weather
 
13:45 Doctors
Duality Cherry is given the opportunity to bring her ordeal to a close and say her final farewells when she attends Scott's funeral. However, she must first face a few home truths. Sophie Abelson stars.
14:15 Murder, She Wrote
Coal Miner's Slaughter Jessica comes to the aid of a friend arrested for murder while investigating her father's death in a mining accident. Angela Lansbury stars.
15:00 BBC News; Weather; Regional News
 
15:05 Show Me Show Me
Pizzas and Wheels Chris and Pui investigate pizzas and wheels in their playroom in the sky. Includes an edition of Penelope.
15:35 Eliot Kid
Mind Control The imaginative child uncovers a conspiracy when he finds that students wearing glasses are being controlled by the head teacher, and sets about breaking the spell on his classmates.
15:50 The Secret Show
Mirror Mirror When reflections begin to come to life and kidnap the World Leader, Victor and Anita seek the help of their mirror images to rescue her before the portal to the mirror world closes.
16:05 League of Super Evil
The Bank Job Desperate to lay his hands on a free atomic toaster, Voltar cooks up a scheme in which the League will rob the First National Bank of Villainy.
16:20 Shaun the Sheep
Draw the Line The flock hijacks a machine used to paint road markings, and causes chaos by creating giant works of art in the field.
16:25 Shaun the Sheep
Timmy in a Tizzy The farmer takes Timmy's favourite sheep-dolly, leaving the little lamb in tears. However, the woolly hero rallies the flock to steal it back from Pidsley the farm cat. Spin-off show following the adventures of Wallace and Gromit's lovable friend.
16:35 Blue Peter
Joel Defries heads for the Sage Building in Newcastle to try his hand at extreme window cleaning. Meanwhile, graffiti artist Steven Dilks joins the presenters to demonstrate how he creates art with a difference.
17:00 Newsround
Current affairs reports aimed at a younger audience.
17:15 Weakest Link
Anne Robinson oversees the back-stabbing general knowledge quiz, as contestants try to weed out the weaklings and walk off with a cash prize.
BBC 2
12:00 Daily Politics
Parliamentary proceedings interspersed with discussions, interviews and filmed reports from around the country. Presented by Andrew Neil and Anita Anand.
12:30 Working Lunch
The latest stories from the business world and news from the City.
13:00 All Saints
Now You See Me Terri is released from prison on bail and prepares to stand trial. Although her lawyer is convinced Vincent Hughes is the real murderer, she refuses to believe it - and the discovery of a mentally ill patient's case file provides police with a new line of investigation. Georgie Parker stars.
13:45 Open House
Oatbrook Road, Sheffield Kristian Digby tries to sell an Edwardian semi in Sheffield, as owner Marilyn Wedgewood is moving to the West Country to live with her partner.
14:15 Animal Park: Wild in Africa
The rescuers come to the aid of a wild cheetah that is caught in a farmer's trap. Kate Humble learns about the birds and bees inhabiting the Okavango river and Ben Fogle goes fishing in crocodile-infested waters.
15:00 Diagnosis Murder
A Candidate for Murder Mark suspects an eminent senator of killing his own daughter, whose behaviour was jeopardising his re-election campaign. Determined to discover the truth, he calls in Amanda to ask her advice. Dick Van Dyke and Victoria Rowell star.
15:45 Flog It!
Bognor Regis The team visits Bognor Regis, West Sussex, where Catherine Southon and Charlie Ross spot a well travelled diamond ring with an interesting history, and a glass vase with a big name. Paul Martin heads to a formal garden with a touch of humour.
16:30 Ready Steady Cook
New series. Britain's Got Talent's father-and-son dancing duo Stavros Flatley join Ainsley Harriott for the culinary duel in which two chefs race to create a meal in just 20 minutes.
17:15 Escape to the Country
Yorkshire Cutdown Denise Nurse helps a couple from Essex find a retirement home in Yorkshire big enough to accommodate their numerous hobbies. The pair are also hoping for adequate land for their two dogs, and a separate living space for a parent who will be moving in with them.
ITV 1
12:30 Loose Women
Kym Marsh and Bonnie Greer join the panel for another round of celebrity interviews and topical debate from a female perspective.
13:30 ITV News and Weather
 
13:55 London News and Weather
 
14:00 Dickinson's Real Deal
Bedworth, Warwickshire David Dickinson visits Bedworth in Warwickshire, where antiques experts Mike Melody, Brenda Haller and James Layte haggle over their favourite items, and a cigarette case livens up the salesroom.
15:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show
Musical theatre star Michael Ball chats and performs on the show, and Ashley Pearson reveals the latest showbiz gossip.
15:59 London Weather
 
16:00 Midsomer Murders
Vixen's Run - Part Two Conclusion. The Butler family continues to bicker over concealed rivalries and liaisons - not to mention the whereabouts of the precious Haddington gemstones. There is no shortage of suspects when new lady of the manor Sandra meets an unpleasant end. Drama, guest starring Joss Ackland and Sian Phillips.
17:00 Golden Balls
Jasper Carrott hosts the show in which four contestants enter a game of truth and bluff to find life-changing amounts of cash hidden inside a set of golden balls before making the final choice of whether to share the jackpot or try to keep it for themselves.
Channel 4
12:00 News at Noon
Daily update, including business news, sport and weather.
12:30 Back To You
Business or Pleasure When Kelly is asked out on a date by an anchor from a rival network, Chuck suspects he is only trying to poach her from the station and could not possibly be romantically interested in her.
13:00 Wife Swap USA
In New England, Christine and Art Gilete and their children spend eight months a year travelling as part of a touring carnival, while New York-based Karen and Tom Turner regiment their daughters' lives around athletic achievement. So when Karen takes Christine's place, she immediately tries to bring structure to the Gilete home. Meanwhile, Christine sets about emancipating the Turner girls from their routine.
13:55 Three Faces West
An Austrian doctor and his daughter arrive in the dust bowl regions of America after fleeing the Nazis during World War Two, and join the exodus of farmers seeking fertile land in Oregon. Depression-era drama, starring John Wayne, Charles Coburn, Sigrid Gurie, Roland Varno and Sonny Bupp.
15:25 Countdown
Jeff Stelling and Rachel Riley present the words-and-numbers game, with guest David Lloyd in Dictionary Corner.
16:10 Deal or No Deal
Noel Edmonds hosts the game show in which contestants try to guess the values of mystery boxes holding as much as £250,000.
17:00 The Paul O'Grady Show
The host welcomes comedian Al Murray, also known as the Pub Landlord, and actress Meera Syal into the studio and reads the latest letters from his postbag. Dog whisperer Cesar Millan also appears.
Five
12:40 five news
Round-up of the day's headlines from around the world.
12:50 Floyd Uncorked
Bordeaux Keith and wine expert Jonathan Pedley visit Bordeaux, where they compare the merits of some of the region's most famous exports, including Medoc and Sauternes.
13:15 Cooking the Books
Ainsley Harriott prepares roast beef fillet with wild mushrooms and potato and celeriac dauphinoise, and is challenged to a Cookbook Cook-off by Aldo Zilli. Plus, the Hairy Bikers (chefs Dave Myers and Simon King) offer a masterclass to a mystery celebrity. Jeremy Edwards presents.
13:45 Neighbours
Donna runs away, hoping to track down James and retrieve the money he stole. Lucas, Ringo and Elle follow her to a country pub, where they try to persuade her to come home. Paul decides to take legal action against Lyn and seeks advice from Toadie, who accidentally reveals to Steph how much her mother was paid to leave the neighbourhood.
14:15 Home and Away
Robertson takes Ruby to the station for impeding the investigation and suspends Charlie from work, before making a surprise arrest over Grant's murder. A guilt-ridden Xavier tries to explain his actions, while Martha gets ready for the public debate, but realises the crowd is full of John's supporters.
14:50 Zoo Days
Brief highlights from the series viewing the animals and staff of Colchester and Chester Zoos.
15:00 Is There Life Out There?
An independent, tough-minded housewife and mother is given a new appreciation of life by her father's death and her own brush with cancer. She resolves to make a fresh start by resuming the education she gave up for her family. Drama, starring Reba McEntire, Keith Carradine and Donald Moffat.
17:00 five news with Natasha Kaplinsky
The day's headlines from around the world.
17:30 Neighbours
Donna runs away, hoping to track down James and retrieve the money he stole. Lucas, Ringo and Elle follow her to a country pub, where they try to persuade her to come home. Paul decides to take legal action against Lyn and seeks advice from Toadie, who accidentally reveals to Steph how much her mother was paid to leave the neighbourhood.

evening

BBC 1
18:00 BBC News
 
18:30 BBC London News
 
19:00 The ONE Show
Adrian Chiles and Christine Bleakley present the live topical show about the concerns of the British nation and uncover stories of people in extraordinary circumstances. The series includes regular features by historian Dan Snow and consumer expert Dominic Littlewood.
19:30 EastEnders
Denise's hen party is gatecrashed by Owen, who claims to know the truth about Trina's death - and a revelation regarding the bracelet later confirms his suspicions. Phil confesses the extent of his money problems to Peggy, and Chelsea tries to flirt with Dr Jenkins in his office - but Roxy's unexpected arrival leads to an embarrassing scene.
20:00 Holby City
Break Away Penny tries to improve her interaction with patients, but her closeness to a man requiring heart surgery leads to trouble, while Donna grills Holly for information about Linden when she is assigned as her work experience shadow. Oliver struggles to impress Jac, but an important diagnosis helps him make headway, and Joseph discovers a possible cause for Archie's death - but Vanessa dismisses his findings.
21:00 Paradox
New series. High-octane drama, starring Tamzin Outhwaite and Emun Elliott. When astrophysicist Christian King claims to have received images transmitted from space that depict a future disaster, DI Rebecca Flint and her team are called in to investigate whether the scientist's pictures are an elaborate warning of a terrorist attack, or a genuine glimpse of things to come.
22:00 BBC News
 
22:25 Regional News and Weather
 
22:35 Imagine
Dame Shirley Bassey: The Girl from Tiger Bay Alan Yentob marks the completion of Shirley Bassey's album The Performance, the David Arnold-produced record that is her first studio release in two decades, by examining a selection of her greatest archive performances. He also meets some of the songwriters who contributed to the album, including Gary Barlow, Pet Shop Boys, Manic Street Preachers, KT Tunstall and frequent James Bond composer John Barry.
23:35 Film 2009 with Jonathan Ross
The presenter reviews American horror Paranormal Activity, which was produced in director Oren Peli's own home on a budget of $15,000, but has gone on to become the most profitable independent film ever made, grossing almost $87million at the US box office. Also examined are two British comedies, Mighty Boosh director Paul King's surreal big-screen debut Bunny and the Bull, and Nativity, a family film starring Martin Freeman as a teacher struggling to organise a festive school play.
BBC 2
18:00 Eggheads
Quiz, hosted by Jeremy Vine, in which the winners of famous game shows work as a team to tackle a new set of challengers hoping to win a cash prize.
18:30 Strictly Come Dancing - It Takes Two
Claudia Winkleman presents the companion show to the pro-celebrity dance contest, where she is joined by this week's saved couple, Laila Rouass and Anton Du Beke, and examines the highs and lows of the weekend's performances in Choreography Corner.
19:00 Ray Mears' Northern Wilderness
Koo Koo Sint - The Star Gazer The survival expert profiles 19th-century cartographer David Thompson, who mapped nearly four million square miles of North America - a feat that took him across Canada from the Rocky Mountains to the Pacific Ocean and helped establish coast-to-coast trade within the country, as well as defining the borders that kept it independent from the US.
20:00 A History of Scotland
God's Chosen People New series. Neil Oliver assesses the impact of the Covenants of 1638 and 1643 - written contracts with God which sought to redefine both the position of the Scottish Covenanters in Britain, and the role of Britain itself. The documents unleashed revolutionary turmoil, which resulted in the beheading of Charles I and ultimately Cromwell's defeat of the Stewarts.
21:00 An Iranian 'Martyr'
On June 20, 2009, 27-year-old student Neda Agha-Soltan was fatally shot in the streets of Tehran. Her death was recorded by a passer-by using a mobile phone, and within a matter of days the footage of her final moments had become a powerful image of civil unrest in Iran. This documentary uses testimonies gathered from those who knew Neda to tell her story, and discovers how she was transformed into a martyr for the Iranian protest movement.
22:00 Mock the Week Again
Another chance to see a previous edition of the comedy show. Hosted by Dara O Briain, with guests joining the panel of Hugh Dennis, Frankie Boyle, Russell Howard and Andy Parsons to poke fun at the news.
22:30 Newsnight
Analysis of the day's events, presented by Jeremy Paxman.
23:20 Berlin
Ruined Visions Matt Frei looks at the German capital and its buildings, which inspire fierce debates about whether the city should acknowledge or deny its chequered history. He discovers there were plans to transform the city into a monumental Nazi capital for Hitler, and that the Berlin Wall sparked an architectural competition between the divided halves of the city in the post-war era.
ITV 1
18:00 London Tonight
 
18:30 ITV News and Weather
 
19:00 Emmerdale
Marlon catches Hannah showing Victoria risque internet photos of herself and alerts Moira, but misreads her gratitude for something more meaningful and decides to tell Paddy about his feelings. Meanwhile, Debbie finds Cain throwing Charity's belongings into the street, and Nikhil and Jai wonder whether Laurel is fit enough to work.
19:30 Grimefighters
A woman is found to have four tonnes of rubbish in a World War Two bunker in her bedroom, a blockage at a sewage station leaves a clean-up team with a dirty job on its hands, and there is a look at a day in the life of a Westminster city inspector. Narrated by John Sergeant.
20:00 John Sergeant on the Tourist Trail
Land of Heroes The journalist joins a host of foreign tourists paying homage to Britain's heroes, from the Beatles to Sherlock Holmes. He takes a magical mystery tour around Liverpool and attends a festival in Nottingham with Robin Hood devotees - who are returning to the event for the 16th year running. Finally, John becomes Mr Darcy for enthusiastic American ladies visiting the UK to experience the world of Jane Austen. Last in the series.
21:00 I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here!
Ant and Dec present all the latest celebrity happenings, revealing the tears, tantrums and terror as the motley crew copes with life in the Australian wilderness. Tonight there is another surprise in store for the plucky personalities, reminding them they can take nothing for granted when living in the jungle.
22:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather
 
22:30 London News and Weather
 
22:35 Help! I Caught It Abroad
Documentary filmed at the Hospital for Tropical Diseases in central London, featuring everyday travellers who bring home more than they bargained for, from life-threatening illnesses to infestations of blood-sucking pests and burrowing worms. The programme highlights the dangers of not seeking travel advice before going on exotic holidays, and there is an insight into the work of staff at the parasitology lab, whose diagnoses are critical for the doctors battling to save lives.
23:35 In Plain Sight
Training Video Mary acts as a technical adviser for a new training film, while Marshall deals with one of the first people to become part of the witness protection programme. Drama series, guest starring Martin Landau, with Mary McCormack and Frederick Weller.
Channel 4
18:00 The Simpsons
Bart to the Future Bart sees into his future with the help of a mysterious casino owner and learns he will become a ne'er-do-well musician with Ralph Wiggum as a room-mate, while Lisa seems destined to become US president.
18:30 Hollyoaks
An anxious Mercedes returns to the hospital to learn the results of her blood test, only to discover the lab has lost her sample. Meanwhile, Malachy makes plans for his future, and Loretta impresses the Osborne family with a hasty demonstration of the Heimlich manoeuvre over dinner.
19:00 Channel 4 News
Including sport and weather.
19:55 3 Minute Wonder: Subtitles Not Included
See Hear A look at how, when other people try to help, they sometimes do not listen enough to understand what is going on.
20:00 The Old People's Home Show
Architect George Clarke sets out to transform a neglected residential care home into a more vibrant living space. Teaming up with the home's live-in manager, he tries to redesign the facility so it can regularly host film nights and pampering days, as well as capture the indomitable spirit of its 12 elderly residents.
21:00 Relocation, Relocation: It's Never Too Late
Margot and Henry Harris are a couple in their late seventies hoping to find a new home in Berkshire, as well as a holiday retreat on the Dorset coast. However, while Margot wants something new, trendy and fresh, it becomes clear that Henry does not really want to move at all, and it is left to property experts Phil Spencer and Kirstie Allsopp to help the septuagenarian pair find something they can agree on.
22:00 Gordon Ramsay's F Word
Edinburgh's Chop Chop and Manchester's Sweet Mandarin go head to head, preparing a three-course meal of salt and pepper squid, pork dumplings, claypot chicken and banana fritters under Gordon's watchful eye. Meanwhile, the chef goes hunting for mitten crab in the River Thames in an effort to re-create a Chinese delicacy.
23:05 Cast Offs
Dan New series. Comedy drama telling the stories of six disabled people sent to a remote British island for a reality TV series. The first episode focuses on Dan, a sweet-natured twentysomething who has been in a wheelchair for six months, and whose meek personality often leads him to become the butt of people's jokes.
Five
18:00 Home and Away
Robertson takes Ruby to the station for impeding the investigation and suspends Charlie from work, before making a surprise arrest over Grant's murder. A guilt-ridden Xavier tries to explain his actions, while Martha gets ready for the public debate, but realises the crowd is full of John's supporters.
18:25 Live From Studio Five
Ian Wright, Melinda Messenger and Kate Walsh host the magazine show featuring location reports, celebrity interviews and showbiz gossip.
19:30 Monkey Life
The female capuchins fight, Tia needs surgery and orangutan Amy enters the late stages of pregnancy. Elsewhere, there is a new addition to the play area in the chimp nursery, and Alison visits Paulo - the baby woolly monkey she has successfully hand-reared - for the final time.
20:00 Sea Patrol UK
The RAF search and rescue team is scrambled to the Pembrokeshire coast to help a 35-year-old climber who misjudged the tides and was swept out to sea, only to become stranded in a narrow gully. Meanwhile, a Royal Navy bomb disposal unit heads for Southend to reclaim an unexploded World War Two mine, and the UK Border Agency patroling the English Channel discovers a stash of illegal tobacco on board an oil tanker.
21:00 CSI: Miami
Dead on Arrival A contestant on a reality dating show is found dead in the back of a limousine, and suspicion initially falls on the programme's eligible bachelor. However, it soon emerges the man in question had genuinely fallen in love with the victim, and evidence causes Natalia to consider the killer might be someone the team has encountered in the past. Eva La Rue and David Caruso star.
22:00 CSI: NY
Yahrzeit A jewellery valuer is murdered at an exclusive auction and tests reveal the gun that killed him dates back to World War Two. Mac's first suspect is a neo-Nazi previously quizzed over his involvement in a bombing, but as the case continues, he finds the key to solving it lies in events that took place during the Holocaust. Guest starring Edward Asner and Shelley Berman, with Gary Sinise.
23:00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
Evaluation Day The team discovers a severed head in the boot of a stolen car and a torso in the middle of the desert - but the two do not match up, leaving two grisly crimes to solve. Meanwhile, Warrick hopes to solve the prison murder of a gang member, but the case is complicated by the key witness's reluctance to give crucial evidence that could prove the killer's guilt.

night / morning

BBC 1
00:05 The Graham Norton Show
Shirley Bassey chats about her career and sings The Girl from Tiger Bay, taken from her latest album The Performance, actor Michael Sheen discusses his film roles, which have included real-life figures including Tony Blair, David Frost and Brian Clough, and Welsh funnyman Rhod Gilbert takes to the comedy chair.
00:55 See Hear
Daryl Jackson chairs a special culture review exploring the phenomenon of the sign song, with guests Jonathan Reid, Stuart Anderson and Deepa Shastri. There are reports from Finland about rap group Sign Mark, and British sign singer Jayne Fletcher, who debates the creative art form. Plus, Memnos has another of his Stories Behind the Signs. With voiceover.
01:25 Saving Britain's Past
The Crofters Architecture critic Tom Dyckhoff visits Assynt, a small community in the Scottish Highlands, where the land reform movement began in the 1990s. Following a public appeal for funds and an ambitious media campaign, a group of crofters was able to buy more than 21,000 acres of land after it was placed on the open market. However, opposition has now arisen from environmental groups over development plans.
01:55 Jimmy's Food Factory
Preserving Jimmy Doherty uses a leaf blower, a vacuum cleaner, two dog bowls and a flexible hose to imitate some of the methods food companies use to preserve food and make it safe to eat even years after it has been processed. He also tries to extract all the water from strawberries so they can be added to breakfast cereals, and visits the world's biggest baked beans factory.
02:25 Natural World
Andrea: Queen of Mantas Marine biologist Andrea Marshall provides an insight into the life and behaviour of manta rays off the coast of Mozambique. She carries out investigations to shed light on these little-known creatures that grow up to seven metres long and are considered one of the most intelligent inhabitants of the ocean. Her underwater photography studies reveal their curious nature, ritual courtship dances and the existence of a giant new species. Alisdair Simpson narrates.
03:25 World News Today
 
04:00 BBC News
Regular bulletin.
04:30 HARDtalk
Stephen Sackur talks to people making the headlines.
05:00 The World Today
International reports.
05:30 World Business Report
The latest business news, with informed analysis.
BBC 2
00:20 BBC News
Regular bulletin.
00:30 BBC World News America
 
01:00 BBC News
Regular bulletin.
01:30 ABC World News with Charles Gibson
Global news reports.
02:00 BBC News
Regular bulletin.
02:30 HARDtalk
Stephen Sackur talks to people making the headlines.
03:00 World News Today
 
04:00 Schools: Art and Design
A variety of artists are interviewed about their thoughts on the curriculum, showcase their sketchbooks, and work on current projects. (ages 14-16).
05:00 Class Clips - Travels with Music
Programme showcasing musical sounds, styles and rhythms from around the world. (ages 11-16).
ITV 1
00:25 Premiership Rugby Union
Action from the latest top-flight fixtures, including Gloucester v Leicester Tigers at Kingsholm, Northampton Saints v Harlequins at Franklin's Gardens and Saracens v London Wasps at Vicarage Road.
02:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show
The host invites his guests to air their differences over various family and relationship issues, and provides them with his unique brand of no-nonsense advice.
05:30 ITV Morning News
 
Channel 4
00:05 4Music Intros
Erik Hassle Melvin Odoom introduces Swedish singer and producer Erik Hassle.
00:10 4Music Intros
Tinashe Melvin Odoom meets charismatic singer-songwriter and guitarist Tinashe.
00:20 BULLRUN
Action from the rally, which starts in New York City and stretches across America over the course of seven days.
02:45 World Sport
Magazine show rounding up the latest events, featuring high-profile tournaments and stars, as well as extreme and minority sports.
03:10 Post Modern Pastimes
Darts Darts enthusiasts explain why the hobby is experiencing a revival.
03:25 Invasion
Round Up Russell and Tom attempt to stop Szura as the hurricane hits the town of Homestead. The National Guard help Mariel, Larkin and the children - who become suspicious of their rescuers. Dave is questioned about Underlay's location.
04:10 King of the Hill
You Gotta Believe (In Moderation) Hank invites an all-star exhibition softball team to compete in a fundraising game against his community league. However, he ruins the show by taking the match too seriously.
04:35 The Class
The Class Springs a Leak Duncan and Richie finish work on Nicole's house - but realising she will miss their company, she resorts to desperate measures to keep them on hand. Ethan resolves to end his relationship with Palmer. Sean Maguire stars, with Andrea Anders and Jon Bernthal.
05:00 Switched
A teenage boy from rural Utah takes on the life of a Brooklyn boxer, and gains a twin in the process, while his opposite number gets a taste of the great outdoors and finds out what it is like to live in a large Mormon family.
Five
00:00 The FBI Files
Philly Mob War How the agency was able to infiltrate a warring crime family from Philadelphia using informants and hi-tech surveillance tools.
05:10 Neighbours
Donna runs away, hoping to track down James and retrieve the money he stole. Lucas, Ringo and Elle follow her to a country pub, where they try to persuade her to come home. Paul decides to take legal action against Lyn and seeks advice from Toadie, who accidentally reveals to Steph how much her mother was paid to leave the neighbourhood.
05:35 Home and Away
Robertson takes Ruby to the station for impeding the investigation and suspends Charlie from work, before making a surprise arrest over Grant's murder. A guilt-ridden Xavier tries to explain his actions, while Martha gets ready for the public debate, but realises the crowd is full of John's supporters.
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